the human experience

humans are intrinsically experimental. we seek more by constantly iterating through life. each new iteration brings new perspective, ambition, and understanding of the past, present, and future. the most successful of us are able to iterate quickly and often continually push ourselves to the next level. this constant desire for more is innate to the human experience.

we seek the unknown, the excitable, the candid experiences that bring us joy. over the course of the pandemic most of us have experienced emotions and situations that we never could have imagined. these situations made it more difficult for us humans to embrace those new experiences that innately define our existence — those which we crave.

experiences that take us to new places, take us outside of our comfort zone, and introduce us to new people, cultures, and beliefs. the desire for these moments is what makes us human. we are all constructs of the stories we tell ourselves and the experiences that have shaped them. we must get back to this way of life. we must get back to what we are good at. we must continue iterating until we are at the forefront of understanding our own view of civilization and methods of exploration.

I am driven forward by this belief — that the best things in life come from the most unexpected origins. a belief in the human experience — something so intensely beautiful that it must be shared. something that I have always believed in deep down, but never actualized in my everyday life, until now. 

it took me a long time — many wasted days and sleepless nights living deep within my head — to reach this point and be able to reflect on this first part of my journey in life. I share this in the hopes that you too can begin your own journey to the life you actually want to live. a journey that begins with obliterating anxiety, actualizing denial, and ignoring fear. a journey that is supported by the simple ideology that life is a series of finite and infinite games. a journey that is best shared.

I have failed hundreds of times to truly begin the next phase of my life that will catalyze all of my dreams. but now it is time to start. I am at peace with my past, stoked in the present, and content for the future.

I choose to remove the doubts, fears, and anxieties and focus on the present without overthinking the past and anxiously depending on the future.

I choose to remove the perfection bias of everything that used to surround my life. I choose to remove all dependencies from my life. I choose to look head-on at the denial that used to cripple me, and choose to be as honest as possible.

I choose to not waste any more time in pursuit of my dreams. I choose to remove oxygen from all the flames of fear in my life. I choose to immediately learn from my mistakes and not continue to flirt with the process of insanity.

I choose to recognize that this will not be perfect, and understand that nothing will ever be perfect or absolute. each individual situation requires its own process, and when I undoubtedly face emotions, thoughts, and interactions that have similarly crippled me in the past, I choose to understand the root cause and build systems so they never happen again.

I choose to let go.

I choose to be human.

I choose to start.